Thursday, March 19, 2015

Ode to St Augustine


Sitting here anchored out in Melbourne.  I guess it’s finally hit me that we are no longer in St Augustine.  Feeling a little tired, a little sad, and a little giddy that we’ve made it this far.  Nostalgia of a life I left a few days ago is washing over me.   What has only been a few days, feels like lifetime. I can’t believe we finally left St Augustine.  I’ll be honest, I miss my friends.  Constantly having to say goodbye to people you care about is one of the hardest things to do when you decide to embark on an adventure like this.  I could’ve easily fallen into the life I had in St Augustine.  A complacent life where you knew what the day had in store for you.  I wish I could feel satisfied with that lifestyle.  Seeing familiar faces, familiar places, and just sitting back and dreaming your dream instead of living it certainly has its merits.  The attachment to the familiar is not one to be underestimated.  The duality of wanting an exciting life and having a comfortable one is one that I find hard to balance.  They both carry with it its own pros and cons.  Living a traditional life where you can bond with people and develop deep interpersonal relationships is one that I wish I could just be satisfied with, but the person deep within me, the one that yearns for the unfamiliar, seeing new places, and trying new things is constantly nagging in the back of my mind.  Yu, you must live your life, she tells me.  Yu, hardship is what comes with building character, she says.  But there are times, in the silence of my mind, where I just long for being happy with the simplest things.  A smile from a friend that wants to go shopping with you.  Shelter from the wind and the sun.  Going to a movie.  These are the things that I long to feel satiated with.  It would be so much easier if it were that way.  I guess that’s just something I need to come to terms with.  The grass will always be greener, that is life…

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